50 Weird Google Searches with Surprising Suggestions

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    Ever pull up the Google search engine and begin typing your question only to discover the suggestions seem to get stranger the further down you read? Well, this post is dedicated to those intriguing, mystifying, and often crazy weird Google searches that cause us to either giggle to our self or raise a brow in surprise.

    You Find the Most Surprising Combinations…

    I. Sex, Taxes, and Penguins. When you think of the word “easy” what’s the first thing that pops up in your mind? Surely, it shouldn’t be how “easy” it is to get a girl pregnant, right? And if you’re a girl, I don’t think “easy” would be part of a pregnancy question (easiest pregnancy test?). But I find it hilarious and quite crazy that among so many strange pop-ups for typing in “how easy” one just happens to be about penguins at the zoo while all the others have something to do about sex and taxes.

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    The Weird Google Searches Continues Outside the Zoo…

    II. Are you on Grilled Cheese or Taco’s side? People really search for these things. We’re apparently quite a competitive race. So much so, that we even want to know what foods will win against one another when battling it out. Maybe for gambling purposes?
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    III. Lose Weight or Die Trying. Talk about hateful. Why, human race, why?
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    IV. Hurt When I Run. Something about the cold wind hitting teeth and making them hurt, I don’t know… Are See Through: Lost some enamel me thinks…
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    V. Disturbing Interpretations.
    Can’t decide which suggestion is more offensive. “Good Girl” implies she’s being good like a dog. “Man” is kind of contradictory. “Maniac” is highly suggestive, and “keeper” implies girls are property to be kept. The woman in me yells “bah-humbug!” like Scrooge. The wicked piece of me giggles hysterically.
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    VI. Which is More Offensive to Guys? I can’t imagine being a guy and being called adorable. Ouch.
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    VII. An Unknown Twist. One of my favorites. “Don’t you hate it when a sentence doesn’t end the way you think it octopus.” I totally didn’t expect that. Bravo, I applaud this genius.
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    IIX. Muahahaha! I’m sure we’ve all had those days of feeling slightly like a sociopath. Pretty cool that most the human race believes itself to be strange. But it’s not surprising, we strive to be so different that we’re ultimately all the same in doing so. Paradox?
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    IX. A Real Problem. Is this really a thing? Are guys (even maybe some girls) so clueless about online social media etiquette?
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    X. Which One is the Strange One? Haha, it’s a trick question. They’re all strange, weird, and make me question the sanity of humanity. Although numbers are extremely sexy, you got me there.
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    XI. LMAO! I have no words for this one *clicks on new window to search if Nicolas Cage is really on the cover of a Serbian biology textbook*… Although why I’m laughing, I’m unsure. California elected Conan the Destroyer to be its governor 🙂 This is why Cali rules.
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    XII. Those Jokster Velociraptors! I’m totally there with you, pal. Hang in there. It’ll get easier.
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    XIII. Bad Digestive Issues. Yikes.
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    XIV. The More Important of Life’s Questions. I do this every day. It must be because my mouth is usually covered in Hot Pocket residue and I immediately wonder why it hadn’t cooked thoroughly in the microwave, thus leading to this question…
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    XV. Carrots are The Riot. Why not? Who dares to say they’ve never pretended to feel like a vegetable? It’s totally enlightening… I mean, it can’t be as odd as covering yourself up in Vaseline, right?
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    XVI. Old School’s Back. The last time I did the Macarena was at a middle school dance, and I thought it was silly even then.
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    XVII. Curiouser and Curiouser. This person really has a lot of time on their hands thinking about the ends of the Earth and/or human race along with tedious inquiries related to conspiracies. I like these questions!
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    XIIX. The Question Moms Like To Ask… Wow, that’s pretty crazy. Sigh!
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    XIX. 212,000 Results for That? I had no idea the topic was so popular and had so much written on it.
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    XX. Topic of the Evening. I wonder if women or men or transgenders type that in the most to Google?
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    XXI. A Piece of Prehistoric Past. It’s the ultimate way to really feel the Triassic Period and really get your head in understanding a dinosaur’s life.
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    XXII. The Things We Do When Alone. Because Comic Sans is pretty criminal.
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    XXIII. Controversial Mechanism. Hmm. I wonder why they’re extremely terrified of them?
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    XXIV. Spreadsheets and Backwards Chairs. What goes on in this person’s head? Oh, it’s Google UK. That explains it! (jk)
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    XXV. Those Wonderful Northern Neighbors. Among the funny things to Google, I am trying to comprehend why anyone would want to own a Canadian?
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    XXVI. Wishing It Were That Easy. Yes, I think lots of girls would love to be able to download a boyfriend.
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    XXVII. Sad Wives. Those questions really can strike up a conversation, can’t they?
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    XXVIII. Strawberry Love. That’s a very specific weird Google search.
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    XXIX. Gamecube Incredible. Do people still own Gamecubes? No wonder it’s been pissed on. This is PlayStation Country, son!
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    XXX. Finding the Cure. Yes, I too feel as if a pig as shat in my head sometimes.
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    XXXI. The Green Poop Dilemma. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen the green poop question. Gah, people! You’re fine!
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    XXXII. The Midst of a Novel. You know how there’s all those werewolf novels and movies that are so popular? Some people think they’re taking all the women. Either that or they think normal wolves are eating them up.
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    XXXIII. Seeking Moral Advice. The answer to all of these questions is YES, IT’S WRONG!
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    XXXIV. Marrying His Widow’s Sister. I’m confused. If *his* widow has a sister, then shouldn’t he be dead anyway?
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    XXXV. Religious Freedom and Obese Unicorns. Considering all the wars that have been started because of religion – usually religions that claim they’re peaceful – yes, I’d have to agree its a neurological disorder in most (but not all) cases. And rhinos as obese unicorns? Then narwhals are just sea unicorns!
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    XXXVI. Amish Fetish. I admire the Amish community and fully respect them – though it’s not quite a lifestyle I’d indulge in. But… what kind of Amish person would use an Amish online dating site? A really horrible Amish person.
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    XXXVII. I can’t Decide Which of These to Highlight in a Funny Picture. Haha! Indeed, my friend! Indeed… I giggle at them all!
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    XXXVIII. Lady Gaga Haters. Yes, she’s really a woman. No, she worships nothing evil. Maybe, she might smoke. And as far as kids and a boyfriend… can’t say that I care. Love her music!
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    XXXIX. Google Outcast. Okay – really, human?
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    XL. Evil Kittens. I’d like to meet the cat that is “like Hitler” or cats that simply like Hitler. What relevance would this be at all for a cat owner? How do you determine… never mind. *huge annoyed sigh*
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    XLI. The STD Question. Most of our funniest Google searches have something to do with sex, but this is just ridiculous. Yikes!
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    XLII. Man,  I’m glad I don’t think of these things. What? These aren’t even cool questions!
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    XLIII. Golems Galore. Yes, I’m quite glad I’m not a golem, thank you very much. This admittedly makes me want to watch Lord of the Rings.
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    XLIV. Do they? I had no idea. Is Glee a movie?
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    XLV. Movie Line. From the movie “Step Brothers” – one of the bros asks “Why are you so sweaty” and the other one says “I was watching cops.” That’s apparently a good explanation. But in reality, he had just finished banging up his step-bro’s drum set.
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    VLVI. No Time Travel for You! I’ve heard lots of oddball things about dinosaurs but never have I seen such a crazy pop-up like the one seen here. Talk about funny things to Google…

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    XLVII. It’s Always Chuck Norris. Yes, I’ve seen and heard most of the bad-ass Chuck Norris quotes. But guess who beat Chuck Norris’s butt? Bruce Lee. That’s right – no one beats the Lee. Norris is only second place.
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    XLVIII. A Modern Jesus. Either they’re speaking of the prophet or of a Central American named Jesus but pronounced “hey-zeus”. Either way, I smirk with a roll of the eyes.
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    XLIX. More Jesus Search Mayhem. I guess some of the funniest Google searches and weirdest Google searches is of Jesus. Sad cakes.
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    L. Goldfish and Girlfriends. An odd but cute combination of funny things to Google I suppose. But it’s like someone definately made this list up using a nice timeline. It’s like he – the searcher – is the goldfish, slowly dying as his relationship depletes.
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    LI. The Comforts of Condiments. Why stop with mayonnaise? Why not ketchup or mustard or teriyaki sauce? But seriously, where does “put that mayonnaise on your child” come from… ? Am I missing something? Is this line a lyric or from a movie?
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    52. I’ve Often Thought This Myself. It’s a completely valid question. Wouldn’t that be fun to say? I’ve onety-one reasons why you should read this article.
    52240316-funny-google-searchesAnd there you have it. An array of weird Google searches to be mulled over. Some were plain silly, and others might have fascinated an inner spectrum of you… Whose to say?

    Leave a comment of some weird Google searches you’ve been witness to. Reaction?

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