Perhaps, you’ve had a rough time with relationships lately, and yet, you’re not getting any younger and you don’t want to spend the rest of your life single.
A short time out to recover, reassess, and reform your relationship skills might be all right, but you don’t have to go years and years sitting it out if you don’t want to. Whatever may be on your ideal to-do list: win ex back, be more assertive, find the one, here are some winning tips for your next relationship:
1. Don’t Use High Pressure Tactics
You can’t just focus on your own situation (wants and needs), and keep reminding the other person about it. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, if you keep turning up the pressure in your verbiage, body language, and actions, it tends to make people feel defensive or even offended. Pressure often pushes away, while allowing someone to feel comfortable and at ease, around you is a much better approach.
2. Dress the Part, Be the Part
You don’t have to always put on a shirt and tie (unless that’s your style, then fine) when going out on a date; but, always be clean, neat, tidy. Casual is fine, but not unkempt. If your clothes and your hair are in disarray, people may think your life’s that way too. Don’t let it be a mere show. Don’t be a stage prop. Be the part inside too, but you have to look the part before someone else is going to trust you to play it.
3. Don’t Talk Incessantly About Past Relationships
If you’re looking for someone new, they will likely ask you at some point about your past. Be ready to honestly answer questions about past relationships – you don’t want it to come out later after you were dishonest about it, plus, you’re looking for someone you can be honest with anyway. But don’t constantly volunteer information about your past relationships either: that signals you’re dwelling in the past and you’re not overly interested in the person you’re with.
4. Be Optimistic, Yet Realistic Too
You don’t have to choose between being an optimist or realist: be both. Go into the new relationship thinking it has possibilities and may work out, but if it becomes apparent it can’t, don’t try to force-fit it. If you have to date several or even dozens of new people before you find the right one, that’s ok. Wading in deep with the wrong one is a much bigger problem.
5. Don’t Repeat the Same Mistakes
If you are thinking of reconnecting with your ex, realize that most of the time, these attempts fail. Now, sometimes they succeed, and you could very well be the exception. But to see that happen, you probably need to examine closely the cause of your break-up and make the necessary changes to avoid a repeat. Exes often get together again and then break up again for the same reason they broke up originally, but if you and your ex solve the original difficulty, your chances of staying together permanently this time are high.