“The ex.” Every relationship has one (or more). Regardless of how perfect your relationship might seem, there is always that ex that can threaten the whole existence of the relationship just by a single text saying hi or a brief encounter at the mall. For ladies, “the ex” is most likely her first boyfriend or her first love since they tend to get more attached to them and invest more of themselves in their first relationship. For men, it could also be the first love, but it may vary a bit depending on the girlfriend he was more attached to. I am using quotes to describe the ex because it is just not any ex we are about to discuss, but that particular ex who still makes you weak or vulnerable. These days, it is normal for people to be dating multiple partners at the same time. The dating scene has become more accommodating and freestyle, and as a result, people break up
all the time. Therefore, there are various reasons why people break up. It could be a mutual decision, unresolved issues between them, infidelity, or incompatibility among other reasons. Sometimes, circumstances push people to break up even though they are still in love. That said, when the exes come back into our lives the relationship can feel a bit crowded, so here are 5 things to do when “the ex” is still in the picture
1. Be honest with yourself – How does that make you feel?
Before you make any move, it is important to understand that you are about to open a Pandora’s Box. In fact, your relationship might be at stake if you don’t play your cards right. Have an honest meeting with yourself and ask how this whole situation makes you feel? Do you feel threatened by the ex? How close are they? Do the chat every day? Do they meet in person? Are they still flirting? Does his/her presence make you feel insecure? Is there anything that you should be worried about? Once you have established what you really feel about it, and you have found enough reasons courage to open the infamous Pandora’s Box, then you are ready for the next step.
2. Approach your partner calmly and confront them about it
Communication is always the key in every relationship. Therefore, always make it your go-to every time you have an issue to discuss. If the fact that the ex is still in the picture makes you uncomfortable, approach your partner calmly and let them know about it. Find out what exactly is going on and be careful not to sound threatening or too insecure. It is advisable to let your partner feel trustworthy, but it is also good to let them know that the ex is making you uncomfortable. Try to look for a compromise in between or a solution that suits both of you. Decide together if they should cut all communication and links to their ex or limit it to basic hellos only.
3. Find out the exact reason(s) why the ex is still in the picture
As stated earlier, relationships end due to various reasons. This only means that there’s a million and one reasons why the ex is still in the picture. Don’t always assume the worst. Maybe they left each other on the wrong foot and they would clear things up so they can move on in peace. For example, if they were engaged before and the ex left them on the altar, your partner might be having too many questions. Therefore, the ex might come back to put things in perspective, and this can quite help out in the healing process. However, be sure to dig deeper and find out if there are any ulterior motives since some exes might be back with a vengeance in mind. Therefore, take time to find out what’s the deal between
them and if the ex is here to stay or it’s just a casual thing. However, you should keep in mind that some circumstances totally change the balance of the situation – like in the case where the ex is pregnant with your man’s baby or if they already have mutual children.
4. Pay attention to your partner’s behavior
First of all, how did you find out that the ex is still in the picture? Is it from your partner, from hearsay, or did you just “accidentally” bump into their conversations while scrolling through his phone? This is important because if your partner was keeping it a secret from you that they are still communicating with their ex, maybe there is a valid reason for you to worry. Be keen about how they react when you first confront them about it. Pay attention to what they do after you’ve talked about it. Do they actually cut short the communication, or do they continue chatting behind your back? Who always initiates the conversations between them?
5. Fight for your relationship when the need arises
It is important to understand that sometimes your partner may not be at fault. Maybe their ex just realized that they messed up and now they want your partner back. You will notice that they are the ones always initiating the conversations trying to hook up or asking them if they want to “hang out” some time. If that is the case, try encouraging your partner to block them without making it look like you are imposing too
much. Never take the initiative to confront the ex because you are in a relationship with your partner and not them. However, if the need ever arises, or if you ever find yourself in a confrontation with the ex, make it clear that you choose to fight for your relationship and you are not planning to break up anytime soon. Though, it is best to do this together with your partner just to be sure that you are on the same page.
An ex can be quite a complication to your relationship – but only if you allow them to be. Keep in mind that this is someone who was intimate with your partner, and you don’t know the kind of connection they had with each other. Therefore, never be too quick to jump to conclusions. Take time to learn the facts so that you may know if it’s a course worth fighting for or letting go and moving on. In some instances, it can be quite difficult to win against the ex. Such times need you to count your losses and start your healing process. You can look up sites such as https://gloriousbride.com/ for some inspirations on the best dating sites available and see how that turns out. Do not be afraid to fight for your relationship when it comes to that or to try out new things if need be. Good luck!