Emotional affairs usually start off innocently. They begin as platonic friendships, in which people invest time and emotional energy. A bond eventually forms, damaging the intimacy of a marriage or committed relationship.
Some people don’t think an emotional affair is the same as cheating. At least that’s what they’ll say when you confront them. However, most experts believe an emotional affair is as bad as, if not worse, than a sexual one.
People who have emotional affairs know that what they’re doing is wrong and will try to hide them from their spouse or partner. Often, they create special social media accounts or open a second Skype account that they don’t tell anyone about to communicate with their friend. If they’ve used their real name or another personal detail you know about them for the account, you can use a straightforward, intuitive service like Checkpeople.com to find it.
The Gateway to True Infidelity
Around 50% of the time, these affairs lead to sexual ones. It happens when the intimate information shared surpasses the limit a couple has set. A deceitful partner will make efforts to conceal the emotional affair at any cost, which they wouldn’t do if it were nothing more than a friendship.
Signs Your Partner is Having an Affair
Suppose your partner or spouse suddenly starts criticizing you or withdrawing from you, develops a sudden interest in a random hobby or technology, or hides their phone and otherwise acts secretive. In that case, they may be hiding an emotional affair. You need to have more than this to be sure, though. If, in addition to the above, they do things like spend lots of extra time “working” on a project with this person or shut down their computer when you walk into the room, it all becomes highly suspicious. Even more so if they keep mentioning this friend, what they do, and what they think.
If more than half of these signs are present, you might want to talk about the situation and the special relationship. It’s very likely they’ll get defensive or accuse you of jumping to conclusions.
Are You Having an Emotional Affair?
Among the most common warning signs of an affair is spending less time with your spouse or partner, thinking your partner doesn’t understand you like your friend does and looking forward to talking or spending time alone with your friend. You make an effort to keep the friendship a secret and/or give your friend special gifts. You’re losing interest in sex with your partner. You’re sharing problems, feelings, and thoughts more often with your friend than your partner.
People in emotional affairs will share that they experience consistent conflict and repetitive hostility in their committed relationship. They find it hard to talk to their partner because their partner feels emotionally distant. They are sharing more with their friend than with their partner. They might even begin to experience sexual attraction to their special friend. Even when all this is obvious, they will insist this person is just a friend because they don’t want to jeopardize their marriage. It’s like having the best of both worlds.
And they do, but perhaps not for long. If the “friend” is looking for something more and shares the other person’s feelings, the situation becomes very dangerous. Likewise, if the spouse or partner is fed up with playing second fiddle.
Spouses need to work together if they want to save their marriage. Above all, the cheating partner needs to realize their relationship is worth holding on to. The “third wheel” will never make up for what they have, and they know this. If they didn’t, they might have left their spouse by now. It might even be that once their relationship has ended, the emotional affair has too.